YOU: Are quirky and a little bit zany, love to laugh and are comfortable with who you are. You have a good sense of humour, are compassionate and love to serve others. You are creative, generous with yourself and your talents and a good conversationalist. You have a shoulder that's ready to be cried on and a backbone strong enough to tell me to get over myself when needed. You enjoy blogging and emailing back and forth all day but understand that there's nothing better than a good sit down laugh with your best girlfriends. You are a phenomenal woman. You are willing to roll with the punches and able to stand on your own. You may be married or single, with or without kids, but you should enjoy and value families. You are willing to meet face to face at a minimum of once a week and will make yourself available in emergencies. You not only embrace life, you celebrate it. You started counting your blessings and haven't stopped yet.
Special consideration given to Mormons, Photographers and people willing to live in or near my little tiny village.
Previous holder of the position retains title but is no longer able to meet all of the position requirements. New applicant should be ok with that and willing to hear stories about several previous position holders. (The same courtesy will be extended to a qualified applicant).
More details available during the interview portion.
I've been keeping a secret and I just have to get it off my chest:
I HATE APRIL FOOL'S DAY
Phew. It feels good to get that out.
I have never understood this "holiday". What on earth is the point in a day devoted to trying to trick, embarrass or otherwise make people feel stupid? Listen, I feel all those things on a semi-regular basis (what can I say, I'm TRUSTING) and it's never good. Never. How do you get enjoyment out of it?
I won't even go into the someone can get hurt argument, but I will note that injuries are OFTEN a consequence of many the April Foolery gag.
I'll admit, I can enjoy hearing about a good prank story. I enjoyed the yearly engineering shenanigans at my university. But those were more along the lines of filling an entire stairwell with rubber duckies (AWESOME) than a direct target. No one is hurt or inconvenienced (the perpetraters return as stealthily as they descended for cleanup). Alright, if there were a fire and a blocked stairwell, it could be bad, but trust me, every building had many, many exits. It wouldn't really be a safety issue. And so I can admire their creativity and enjoy the joke along with everyone else.
Ok, ok, I did think about putting saran wrap over the toilet a time or two, but I had 3 younger brothers. These things occur to a girl. But I had also had to scrub the toilet before, and for that reason never EVER followed through.
As long as I'm clearing the air on this I also don't enjoy "comedies" that revolve around people being tricked, embarrassed or otherwise acting or looking stupid. I used to run from the room and hide during Three's Company. I refuse to watch Faulty Towers with my husband. These things are painful for me. I cannot laugh at the crazy antics, I can only whimper with sympathy for the poor people who are making such ridiculous decisions. I want to yell at them to stop and think for a moment instead of just reacting. Maybe my river of empathy is flooded, I don't know, but I can't get enjoyment out of these things.
April Fool's has been outlawed at our house. Because I'm the mom and I say so. My girls came home with fun stories of how their teachers and classmates tricked them...but then the stories went on, to where Sweetpea finally confessed that one girl in her class "kept tricking me and tricking me and she just WOULDN'T STOP and I was getting so mad!".
The title of this blog comes from my best friend's mom; who critiqued my high school English journal as "full of superfluous fluff". This is where I embrace all that fluff and share it with you in its pure, unedited, rambling glory.