Superfluous Fluff

C25K Week 1, Day 6

Day 6: Completed.  You thought I skipped, didn't you?  I ran yesterday, on schedule, but it was a busy day and I didn't have time to blog.  But I did it!

Which means.....

WEEK ONE COMPLETE!!!

WAHOOOO!!!

Now I only have the rest of my life to go....

How I feel: A little sore, a little stiff, a lot proud.  Hey, I did it!  I think I have a bit more energy than I did two weeks ago, but maybe it's wishful thinking? 

Why I ran:  I find the day after a run I start to get really stiff.  By run day I wake up all creaky and in pain.  So I run because my muscles need lubricating to get loose again...for as long as it lasts.

Changes: I'm actually not dying out there.  Ok, I came close to dying, but only because I wore a fleece sweater to keep off the chill.  Note to self: there is no chill when you're running!  I can breathe, my heart pounds but not excessively, my muscles feel good.  I wouldn't want to carry on a conversation, or have anyone see me (or smell me), but I'm not living in fear of collapsing in the ditch anymore.  Which must mean that it's time for Week Two.  I hope I don't die.  I've thought about cutting back on these posts now that I seem to have found my rhythm, but I think the first and last day of a week is probably going to be very telling, and I really like the little record of what I saw while running.  Let me know if you have an opinion!

Things to photograph: The fall leaves keep on changing and it's so incredible.  Plus it poured rain all night long (the rain actually woke me from a sound sleep at around 4 AM).  I waited for the rain to stop before I went out on my run but everything was dripping wet.  There was a thick fog that never lifted and was so atmospheric.  I remember when I used to go running on the track early in the morning in high school and the fog was so thick you couldn't see more than a couple of feet in front of you.  My partner used to lap me and I'd never see her coming, she'd just loom up out of the mist and then be swallowed back up by it.  It sounds creepy but it's kind of magical.  Very Zen.  Anyway, the leaves, the berries, spiderwebs and fall flowers. MAGIC, I tell you!  (And no skunks!) If I hadn't had a very full day ahead of me I may have grabbed the camera and went right back out.  I may not like exercising, but I LOVE getting out every day and watching the world change around me.  How do people handle treadmills? (I'm sure I'll answer my own question when it's -40 and I have to run outdoors.)

 

Special K

Having moved far away from our families at the start of our marriage was a good thing.  I recommend it for any newlyweds.  It brought us so much closer together as a couple and I think it's wonderful to learn to stand alone as a couple and to lean on each other.

But it's not without it's drawbacks, especially once the children come along.  As someone who spent almost as much time at her Grandma's as at home growing up, I feel the loss of that close connection for my children.

Fortunately, there's adoption.

The wonderful K couple lives not far from us.  We originally got to know them a bit through church, but didn't have a lot of time to socialize.  Then it happened.  Sister K and I were assigned as Visiting Teaching companions.  I quickly grew to love her and cherish our time together every month.  When reassignments came we were delighted to find ourselves their Home Teachers and they our Home Teachers.

(Visiting Teaching is a church initiative where the women of the church visit each other once a month.  We're assigned companions and people to teach so that everyone has a support system.  Home teaching works the same, only companions visit with families once a month.  They share a message from the church magazine and offer any help that's needed.)

We've been visiting each other back and forth a few years now and it's like having an extra set of grandparents.  Our children love the K's and the feeling is mutual (or they're good actors!).  The K's are from Austria and have delightful accents still.  They're also snowbirds and head for exotic locales like Mexico or Panama every winter, right after they celebrate Christmas with us.  They have wonderful stories to tell and great insights to share.  Amusingly, Brother K and Hubby share the same first name (though spelled differently).  Sister K is an incredible gardener and if I knew one tenth of what she does I'd be a genius with a basement full of beautiful foodstuffs for my family.  As it is, she's very patient as I ask the same questions over and over and over again, and willing to share the bounty of her harvest with us. 

I hope the local church leaders never get around to reassigning us.  We may have to keep "teaching" each other even if they do. 

Sister K also believes in feeding us every time we visit.  I've noticed this is a delightful tradition amongst any of my European friends.  This lazy Canadian rarely thinks of serving my guests until they're half-way out the door, but Sister K and others like her seem to greet you with a full smile, a full hug, and a full plate.  The treat changes but the love behind it never does.

Lately the treat has been fried bread.  It is so fun and delicious and I had never had it until Sister K started making it, so I decided I had to take a bunch of photos.

Here's the dough, ready to go:

 

Putting it in the hot oil (on the BBQ--awesome!):

 

Look how it bubbles up! Fun pockets!

Turn it:

 

Toppings:

 

YUM!

 

So delicious!  Sister K actually makes the dough up in huge batches and freezes it so there's always some ready for guests.  She just pulls it out of the freezer when she knows someone is coming, and as soon as it's thawed she can fry it.  We have it with sprinkled sugar and cinnamon or some of Sister K's homemade apple sauce (or both!).  One of these days I want to sneak in a jar of Nutella.   I have a feeling that it will make an already heavenly experience pure nirvana.

And what do the kids do while poor Sister K is slaving over a hot BBQ?

Laze about in the hammock of course!

 

Or play with Penny.

 

We love ALL of the K's!

Today is my due date

I was warned that it would be hard.

It's hard. 

I got up this morning and set off on my run, willing myself to celebrate the day and not let it get to me.  After all, it's the first day of fall, typically my favourite day of the year.  There is so much to be thankful for.

There is so much to miss.

I wasn't going to say anything.  I don't want more words of condolence; everything that can be said has been said, months ago already. 

A lifetime ago. 

But today is my due date, and one of the hardest things to deal with is that no one knows.  I keep breaking down for no apparent reason.  I want to cry and scream and rage.  I want to huddle in a corner and rock and sob and maybe start pulling my hair or sucking my thumb. 

I want to not be empty.

And I need the day acknowledged, even if none of my children has ever been born on their actual due date.  Even if it's just a number on the calender.  A number that means little to anyone but me. 

Today is my due date.

I just wanted you to know.

C25K Week 1, Day 5

Day 5: Completed

How I feel: Good! Even the shin splints are letting up a bit (thank you Calcium/Magnesium).  It was almost...pleasant.  Shocker, I know.  I may even be able to puff out a word or two to you if you were to join me.  I guess I will be ready for Week Two.  Heaven help me.

Why I ran: Because it's starting to feel good.  And because now I'm curious--when will the scale reflect changes?  I've been running for almost two weeks now, eating less, making better choices.  And the scale has budged not one pound.  Please tell me I don't need to eat any less because I am STARVING.  Thank you.

Changes: This morning my timing and my route changed.  Why?  This morning I'm on my way in to help in the Grade Two classroom.  I needed to get my run in BEFORE the kids left for school instead of after, so I had to get up before sunrise and head out in the cool and dark.  It was actually really, really nice.  As for the route change?  See below.

Things to photograph: A partridge.  I wasn't far from the house, about half way through my warm up walk, and I noticed a sillhouette against the sky.  I watched it.  Hawk?  Quail?  No, Partridge!  But I don't remember partidges flying very well.  How'd he get up there?  Partidges do fly, right? How come every time I see them they're waddling about on the ground?  What's it doing up there?  Is there a pear tree nearby (I'm so witty in the morning)? And then I realized I'd better look in front of me instead of behind me and there was a SKUNK.  Oh yes, a plump skunk, weaving his way back and forth down the road, straight towards me.  He was maybe 15 feet away and closing in.  I slowed way, way down.  I thought I could maybe choose one side of the road and he could have the other, but no.  Mr. Skunk wanted the whole road.  And as I got to 10, 9, 8 feet, he stopped and did the tail lift thing and I decided that if Mr. Skunk wanted the whole road, he could have the whole road.  I have been sprayed by a skunk once in this lifetime and that was too much.  So I turned tail and started walking carefully back the way I came.  And then it was time for my first run interval and I decided that running seemed like a very good idea.  And I ran.  Eventually he was well behind me and I could notice other things.  Fuzzy caterpillar on the road.  Giant, gorgeous, golden harvest moon.  Mmmm.  Love it!  Sunrise.  What a sunrise!  I think I like this running with the sunrise thing.   A neighbour with old washing machine agitators turned flower pots out in front of his house.  Looks cool.  Swampland in it's fall best, all reds and golds and cattails and reeds (and no bugs left).  Another neighbour with one perfectly red tree in his backyard where all the other trees around it are still green.  In my own yard, once home again, deer grazing.  I spook them as I come to the door, but when the kids and I look out the window at breakfast they're back, watching us warily through the window.

It's a nice way to start the day. 

WW: Scavenger Hunt

At the Regional Super Saturday in PEI on the weekend, the youth were randomly divided into teams and sent on a photo scavenger hunt in downtown Charlottetown.  We had to turn in our lists at the end, but my team managed to find 27 out of the 32 things.  Yay team!  Here are a few of our finds:

There are more photos in an album on my facebook page.  If you want to add me as a friend so you can see them, send me a message so I know who you are.  I keep my security pretty tight to protect my kids.

C25K Week 1, Day 4

Day 4: Completed!

How I feel: Disgustingly good.  Really unfortunately fantastic.  Tired.  Close to pain from the knees down, but everything else feels well oiled and loose.  I really hate that, because it means the exercise experts are right, and I really hate those guys and their smarmy "exercise makes you feel better" reports.

Why I ran: You guys.  Let's face it, I've told too many people that I'm doing this.  I can't get out of it (which is why I told you all.  I know myself too well.).  I woke up this morning, stiff and sore and in pain just about everywhere.  I was tired and achy and cranky.  I missed my Saturday run.  I've been to PEI and back in a weekend, and I didn't get much sleep.  I was up late again last night, trying to participate in an instructor chat for my Book of Stories class at Big Picture (BTW--this may be one of the best classes ever.  I love it.).  To top it off, Auntie Flo showed up yesterday and has been taking delight in pummelling me.  I DID NOT WANT TO RUN TODAY.  But I knew if I didn't make myself do it today that I wouldn't make myself do it ever again, so I went.  Because you know who quits after two days?  Who says, whoops, menstruating, can't ever exercise again?  LOSERS.  And I'm tired of being a loser.  So I ran.  It only took me an extra hour to battle with myself and get out the door.  Hey, I've been a loser a long time.  But I did it.  So there.  (Where's my cookie?)

Changes: Shin splints still there.  Heel pain managable. Breathing?  Soooo much better.  My lungs no longer hurt until the 4th or 5th run interval.  My heart is still trying to escape my chest when I'm running, but even it seems to be settling down.  I'm glad I added the extra week, but I finally feel like I might be ready to move on to Week 2 by the end of this week, and not try to talk myself into repeating the week a 3rd time.  My muscles are still stiff and sore before I run but feel so good after a run.  And, most annoying of all, the run eased a lot of the menstrual cramping.  It's been really, really bad since the Boy, and has only gotten worse since Gaelan this spring.  Every month it's like good old Auntie Flo takes me out to the back alley for an old fashioned beating.  (Don't like hearing about this stuff?  Too bad.  I'm a girl, it's part of life.) I'm actually a little put out by how much better I feel after a run.  My usual solution is to take a couple of Advil, a hot water bottle, and hide under the covers until the various vices loosen.  I've heard the experts say that mild exercise can help ease the pain, but what do those experts know?  Are they trying to run while in pain?  Stupid experts.  I HATE that they're right and I could have been doing this all along!

Things to photograph along the way: Red leaves.  They totally popped over the weekend.  Fall has arrived in New Brunswick!  I love it!  We even have some mottled leaves on the tree at the end of our driveway.  So fun!  Canada flag, waving proudly in the breeze.  A row of wheelbarrows filled with fall annuals.  Low flying plane against the blue, blue sky.  Not as much jumped out at me this morning, partly because I was more in the zone with my running and focused on form, partly because there is so much I haven't photographed that I still want to, it makes it hard to spot new things to photograph. 

Can we believe it?  The program is working!

C25K: Week 1, Day 3

Day 3: Run not completed

How I feel: Deprived.  Seriously.  It was like I woke up with my muscles twitching and ready.  Strange that after only two run days my body has already figured out the rhythm and thinks it's time to run.  It wants to run.  Weird, especially since we know it will then try to strike me dead when I do run.  On the other hand, I've started getting shin splints already (I've had them before).  I'm taking an extra calcium-magnesium supplement, which has helped in the past, so we'll see how it plays out.  I also discovered my heels were KILLING me on the drive home from PEI, so I'll keep a feeler out on that.  It may be that I need to retire the old sneaks and get some decent runners, and maybe a nice cushy insert for my heels.  No quitting though!  I'm more determined than ever!

Why I (didn't) run: LAZY! Or too social?  Something.  We got to the church in PEI around 10:30.  It was a fun drive, but it's always tiring.  Then the drive to my billet, where I sat up talking with friends until after 1.  Then the alarm went off at 5:45 so that we could fit in showers and get back to the church for breakfast at 7:30.  Timing was tight.  I could possibly have fit the run in, but I would have had to jump right out of bed and set off on a road I'd never been on before, and I just wasn't feeling brave, or particularly energetic, for that matter.  And as it turns out I was on the road where the giant yard sale was set up, so I would have had many witnesses to my jiggling.  And by the time I drove home and fell into bed Saturday night, I didn't feel up to running Sunday morning.  I barely felt up to standing.  And I made us late for church prepping my lesson and getting something thrown together for the potluck we had afterwards, which I had completely forgotten about until the Princess reminds me (she never forgets when there's a possibility of free desserts). And can I stop starting sentences with and?  The grammar nut inside of me just died.

Changes: I think I have to change my mindset.  If I'm going to be a runner, I need to own it.  I could have asked that the alarm be set a little earlier.  At the first sign of scheduling difficulty I folded into what was easy instead of finding a way to make my run happen.  No more excuses!

Things to photograph on the way:  Are you kidding me? I was on PEI!  Everything is a picture.  Everything.  I love that little island!

Buttons Bursting

It started in 2007.

I had had the same hair for over 20 years, and I was ready for a change.  I decided that since I was planning to go from long to short I should donate my hair and make a difference in someone's life.  I had thought to donate to Locks of Love, which was the only place I'd ever heard of that accepted hair donations, but my friend and stylist pointed out to me that they're Americans and, nothing against our pals to the south, there are lots of Canadians who need the same loving gift.  And, bless her, she pointed me towards A Child's Voice Foundation.  One of their programs is called Angel Hair for Kids and it provides wigs to children experiencing hair loss for any one of a number of reasons. 

I went ahead and chopped off my long tresses and sent them on to Angel Hair.

It felt good.

Shortly after that my mother started planning her wedding and our Princess decided that if she was going to be a flower girl then she needed long beautiful hair.  She started growing it.

And it grew, and it grew, and it grew.

It grew and started bugging her.  She would often talk about how she was going to chop it all off as soon as the wedding was over.

After the wedding in July 2009 though, I reminded her of how I donated my hair.  We talked about what it would feel like to be a little girl and go bald, and how it would feel to donate.  I told her that if she was going to chop it off anyway, it would be so much nicer to give it to someone who needed it than to throw it in the garbage.  She agreed and we measured, but she was an inch too short.  So we let it grow a bit more.  That summer she had me measure her hair almost daily.  She wanted to cut it!  She wanted to donate it! 

Finally, FINALLY, it was long enough.  And then she got serious. 

"Do I HAVE to cut it?"

It turns out she liked it long.  In fact, she loved it long.  She loved ponytails and pigtails and braids and people stopping her to compliment her long, beautiful hair. 

Being someone who's had long hair for the majority of her life, I told her that OF COURSE she didn't have to cut it!  It's her hair, and it's hers to do with as she will.  The only reason I would make her cut it is if she stopped caring for it and it was all tangled and impossible. 

So that was that. It was never discussed again. 

And then in August, when we were back from vacation, we came in late to church one week and there was our friend Malachi, finally back amongst us.

She was so excited. 

"He's back!  He's back" she frantically whispered in my ear.

And then she got really quiet. 

And she kept looking over her shoulder at him.

And later that day she came to me and in a quiet voice said "I'm ready to donate my hair now".

And my heart broke into a million pieces and dropped at her feet.

I thought I'd give her some time to be sure.  Later that week we took Sweetpea to the salon for a trim and she wanted to do the donation right there and then.  I wouldn't let her.  We hadn't gone online to double check the length and procedure in a while, and what if it changed?  And we didn't have a ziplock bag to put the hair in and keep it clean and safe. 

She stuck to her guns though.  Once that girl makes up her mind, nothing stops her.  We went to the website, watched the video testimonies, printed out the instructions, and contacted one of my old YW who is going to school to become a stylist and is already quite talented.  I waited a couple of weeks and never heard back from her, so I called a local lady and made an appointment.

Yesterday was finally the day.

Measure twice...

Cut, um, twice.  We have very thick hair.  Genetics on both sides of the family.  We had to go with two ponytails, and it was still quite the sawing routine to cut though all that hair.  Really thick hair.

Ready for donation.

Excited!  This girl grinned through the entire process.

Beautiful after!

Compare before (first day of school) and after:

I'm so proud of her I could burst.  And she made me promise not to tell anyone what she was planning (not even Hubby) so she's LOVING surprising people.  She did give me permission to write this post, since she's seeing most people at school today.  She actually keeps surprising me.  I see this short haired girl out of the corner of my eye and wonder who it is.  I keep having to take double looks at my own girl. 

Aaaaaand, she's inspired me.  I was going to get my hair in a bob similar to hers, but instead I'm going to let it grow.  By this time next year I can donate again too.  And then she can donate.  We've agreed to take alternate years. 

So very pleased with herself.

(I'm pleased with her too.)

C25K: Week 1, Day 2

Day Two: Run Complete

How I feel: Better than I did before I ran.  Despite repeated stretching, my muscles totally seized up since my Tuesday run.  By this morning I could barely get out of bed.  Every step hurt.  I decided that maybe a run would loosen me up.  Either that or finish me off.  I decided I was ok either way.  And it loosened me up.  Yay!  Also, the first 60 second run was not the hardest today (the 4th was, if anyone is wondering).

Why I ran: Because I'm not a quitter.  And quitting after only one day would be HUGELY embarrassing.  But I wouldn't be lying if I said that I entertained a brief but satisfying fantasy about stepping out in front of one of the cars that sped by me; not to commit suicide, but just break a leg or something requiring I stop all exercise for the forseeable future and then begin again after many, many weeks with my own physical therapist.  It was just a fantasy.  Once I started to really get into it I remembered that I hate hospitals.  And feeling helpless.  And bedpans.  So, as with most fantasies, it was quickly abandoned.

Changes: Having learned from Tuesday, I took the entire process MUUUUUUUCH slower.  My brisk walk was more of a gentle stroll.  My runs were an easy jog, at times almost in one place (too much Wii running!).  I didn't go as far, I didn't go as hard, but I didn't think I was going to die either.  I have decided to definitely do each week twice though (making for 6 days of running in each week).  I'm just barely making it through.  I am sick and tired and winded, and there is no way I could talk to anyone while out there.  I want to feel good at each level before I move on to the next, and I'm nowhere near that with week one.  So I'll do it twice and hopefully get a little better each day.  Since I'm only doing this for my health and not to meet some race goal, I don't feel like I have to push that hard. 

Things to photograph on the way:  Two does out for breakfast, who let me run right by them without fleeing (I think they knew I was harmless).  A loon out on the misty lake.  A heron, startled by my pass, flying overhead.  Some crazy lichen or fungus on the trees that looks like an angora sweater.  Those sweet berries and giant sunflowers.  Today it's sunny and they were even more impressive.  A huge spider just finishing up her web.  A woodpecker that I thought was real until I jogged past and realized it was some kind of very cool garden art.  A big bunch of black-eyed susans in the neighbour's garden.  The other neighbour's kittens out playing on the front step.  So much!  I live in the BEST spot!  

I'm going to PEI this weekend for a youth conference, so I'm not sure how I'm going to run Saturday morning.  It will depend on my billeting situation.  I'm going to pack my stuff and play it by ear.  If I can't run Saturday I don't really think running Sunday will be breaking the Sabbath.  Believe me, this is one of those (unpleasant but good for you) religious experiences. 

FINALLY figured out how to follow people! I feel like I've solved the mysteries of the universe. So I'm madly trying to remember who all I love who is also on typepad. If you think I missed you (or someone YOU love), please give me a shout out! Thanks!